whilst i lay, all too restless, the space between us grew. evolved into eons, light years away. as i clutched my chest and heaved clouds of saudade. tristful, in the dead midnight. all the while, he lay in a bed unfamiliar to me and mourned his own losses. tossed in the stars about another person, another soul. no crystals fell from tear ducts, just two strangers separated by lonely hearts, reaching out to the sky to whisk them away. i seek a home i cannot return to, that does not exist. the more comfortable we were, the more i could feel my atoms drawing towards his. in the process, i was slowly decomposed. it wasn’t until he told me to hold on, that the thick black smoke made its way through my throat and eventually escaped as a silent scream of tears and pain. so much pain. it was like watching every fibre of my being, being torn apart. silver un-spun itself from my insides as everything collapsed. i cannot describe the pure agony of radio silence. the loneliness. the way you feel your way through the darkness, promising yourself there will be something there, there will be someone, someday. no response. no static. no hope. just endless blind stumbling, for light years.